afterglide.com, the website itself, not its author, has announced he is running for governor of the state of Minnesota in 2010. Mr .com indicated he will be running with the support of the CPP. The CPP, or Coiled Penis Party, is not a political party, but a regular social gathering where all invitees are able to coil their penises at least four times around a hickory rocking chair once owned by Karl Malden. .com is not a member, saying, "I could only get it around a couple of times, but that was then -- it's penis under the coffee table. They are actually the ones who approached me about entering the race."

afterglide.com is seen as a long shot, particularly given his track record of generating controversy. In recent years, he has claimed he was an "unknown burglar" in the 1972 break-in at the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate Office complex and managed to escape before his cohorts were arrested. In December, 2008, .com sparked outrage with a expletive-filled tirade laced with racial and homophobic slurs during a curiously unedited guest appearance on Sesame Street.

When Jeremy Gibbens, a frequent contributor to afterglide.com, was reached for comment, he read a prepared statement and would not take further questions. "I do not support afterglide.com's candidacy for the office of governor of Minnesota. The withering of our business relationship in recent months has been well-documented by the media. While I will not air the details of our private grievances, I can tell you that I do not support his political ideologies, his narrow social views, or not taking his medication. I do hope one day -- perhaps very soon -- to mend our fences enough that I can write about poop on him again. Or actually poop on him. I refuse to believe the good times are gone."

I suppose a little background is necessary for this one. My brother and his wife (who are expecting a baby in December!) moved out to Philadelphia in January, 2008. Initially they rented an apartment and didn't have room for all of their stuff, so they kept quite a few things in my house, including a dining room set, china buffet, lots of lawn furniture, and multiple other items. This ended up being a blessing because their stuff was much nicer than mine. How convenient for staging once I put it on the market. Then Troy said he was going to rent a trailer and pick up his stuff once he came back for a visit over the weekend of July 4th. Well, shit. Perfect timing. Oh well, it's his stuff, not mine.

However, it ended up being a non-issue because after mulling it over the last week or so, last night I decided once and for all that I'm significantly slowing down the remodel project and will wait until next spring, or whenever we're ready, to put the house on the market. The stress was just too much for both Ang and I, and it just isn't worth it to kill ourselves (or each other) over it.

After we returned from a trip to ND for my 15 year high school class reunion and a huge Gibbens family reunion, I noticed his grill sitting in my back yard and texted him. This is the screen shot from my phone (screenshots are another nifty built in feature on the Palm Pre).

Oh shit! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!

I have decided that when buying items from the cafeteria style vending machine that I must leave something in its place.