
Eight winters ago, I bought a fancy little gadget called a DVD player to go with my new Dolby 5.1 surround sound system. I joined Netflix and took full advantage of the service by watching movies almost nightly. Then spring rolled around, and I had little desire to spend my evenings hold up in the house. When it got to the point that I didn't watch or return any movies for weeks on end, I canceled my membership.
Last night I decided to give Netflix another try after the latest service update for high definition Tivo models added Netflix instant streaming to my beloved DVR. I wanted to give it a try because while Amazon has offered a standard definition streaming pay-per-play rental system through Tivo for quite some time, Netflix offers high definition television shows and movies. Not only that, but Netflix's monthly membership fee includes unlimited streaming, even with their $8.99 tier.
I popped my streaming Netflix cherry with a viewing of National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Say what you will, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first admittedly ridiculous historical puzzle solving romp, despite its simultaneous oversimplification and overcomplication of our nation's history (did you know that Ben Franklin peed on a robotic possum from the future to discover electricity?). Its sequel, Book of Secrets pretty much delivered the same schlocky fun, and I was impressed with the picture quality, even if it wasn't one of the HD streams. Although I did test the HD pictureby watching a couple of scenes from a movie I'd seen before, Pan's Labyrinth, and it was comparable to watching the HD broadcast I had originally seen on HBO.
Ah, but if I'm writing this, there has to be a complaint in here somewhere, right? Yes and yes. First and foremost, the selection of movies available for streaming is shit. New releases? Forget about it. Think License to Drive starring the two Coreys (Messieurs Haim and Feldman) and Peggy Sue Got Married, the types of movies my mom would bring home on VHS from the rental store. If it's got Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy, or Anthony Michael Hall in it, it is most assuredly available for streaming on Netflix. Oh sure, you've got classics like Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day, but half of this shit I haven't even heard of. At least some of them appear to be titty flicks designed for an underfunded chuckle and dry toss bought on an overdrawn line of credit. Malibu Spring Break, Bikini Squad, Pool Party, and Sizzle Beach, USA all sound like a good time when Ang is out of town, and my internet connection is down, cutting off easy access to videos of Asian girls ass fucking horses with table legs and jointless prosthetic legs. I'll just have to settle for having to burn myself with cigarettes so I can climax instead of someone else doing it.
My second complaint stems from what could very well be a fluke. Tonight we attempted to watch An Evening with Kevin Smith, and the stream kept skipping forward several seconds at a time, recaching, then jumping forward again without playing more than a couple of seconds of video. We finally gave up after several tries. Oh well, more time for cigarette burns for me!