Giving back

I have decided that when buying items from the cafeteria style vending machine that I must leave something in its place.

Those are strange destinations

For the last time already!

Mom, dad, please sit down. I SAID SIT DOWN! Why you gotta make me angry like that? Angry like a puckered asshole full of Tobasco sauce. Is that how you want me? All dripping with vinegary leakage? And in case you're wondering, it's Chipotle flavored Tobasco. I prefer original, but the anger fills you up with whatever's on hand.

Now that you're sitting down, Let me drop the shunt of revelation on your moistened cortex -- you can't move in with me. I know you haven't asked to move in with me, but I need to tell you that you can't. I have a very comfortable spare bedroom with clean, crisp sheets, but you can't stay with me and take refuge in that plushness. What? No, I KNOW -- I already told you that I realize that you haven't asked to move in with me. But it's still important for me to tell you that you can't under any circumstances move in, keep me company, and help me out with my bills. I forbid it! Even though there is a Murphy bed in the den that your frequent guests could use, IT IS NOT FOR THEM! Or you! Despite the convenience of having you around to help out with yard work and take care of my dog while I am away on my frequent business trips, you mustn't move in. No way, no how, no sireebob! Yes, that is a pile of freshly laundered fluffy towels monogrammed with your initials sitting on the end of that spare bed, but they are not for you! And I've left a bottle of scented oil in the night stand of the spare room, but you cannot use that to give each other erotic massages. And that copy of the Kama Sutra next to the oil isn't for your use, either. Now, see this spare key I'm leaving on the counter? This is just where I keep it. It's not for you. Now, I'm going to run to the store to pick up some Geritol and Ben Gay. Don't move in while I'm gone!

Ware is Ang? Tired uv ur crap.

Taken with the camera and flash on my fancy schmancy new Palm Pre. Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I am finally part of the touchscreen smartphone crowd. But I'm still not cool. Dang.

George Washington, Ray Romano, Ronald Reagan...

Basement before and (almost) after

The ceiling needs one more coat of paint, there are some spots that need touching up on the walls, the new carpet hasn't gone in yet, and I'm replacing the light fixtures, but I think aside from the kitchen, this is the most night and day transformation in the house to date. Thanks to Rich, Jen, Mary, and Connie for helping Ang and I knock this one out yesterday.

Before: dark paneling, poor lighting, and just plain shitty.


After: Bright white, and well-lit. Yeah, it's super god damn white, and I may put a splash of color on one of the walls, but check this shit out.


Of note: the bare bulb ceiling fixtures are temporary, as I mentioned. But the closer one in the photo was wired to a switch that you had to walk halfway into the basement to get to, and the far fixture was found tucked up into the joists (WTF??) when I tore the suspended ceiling out. It was not wired to any switch. It occurred to me that it made sense to have both lights wired to the basement entry switch that controlled the wall lights, and the time to do it was running out with the ceiling going in shortly. The hour or two of work it took was well worth the added light and added convenience. One more ponderous thing in the house unfuckified with a little thing called common sense.