Bathroom remodel shoot, day 1

It started bright and early at 7:30 this morning. The first member of the crew to arrive was Eoin, who started hauling in equipment, as well as a ridiculous array of pastries, bagels, fruit, trail mix, crackers, and even Teddy Grahams (I fucking loves me some Teddy Grahams!!!). So basically my entire kitchen island was a sea of tempting snack food. I managed to resist though, and only helped myself to some grapes, a half dozen or so TGs, and a handful of trail mix throughout the day. I'm trying to keep shit tight up in my britches and shit, y'all.

Over the next half hour or so, the rest of the crew, including the producer, trickled in to get everything ready. Matt the host (you can pretty well deduce what show this is if you dig around *cough*), arrived mid-morning (we wouldn't be shooting for a little while longer, so there was no sense in him getting there any earlier). Throughout the rest of the morning, as it became clear I was not easily offended, more and more dirty jokes, dirty talk, and f-bombs came out from everyone, and I knew I was going to get along with these people just fine.

The first footage shot was of me giving Matt a tour of the bathroom. It was standard issue "my bathroom sucks, here's what I hate, and you need to save me from this nightmare!" Then break to move around the lighting, shoot footage of us taking the reciprocating saw to the drywall, rinse, repeat. Matt and I tore down all of the drywall and tile around the tub, then we got the hell out of the way while the pros kicked the shit out of the rest of it in a heartbeat. This was a common theme throughout the rest of the day.

Oh, and don't forget the show's seemingly obligatory shot of the homeowner just about dropping something on Matt's head. There was no exception here, as I hammered away at the bottom of the soffit, and an unexpectedly huge chunk of it fell off in one piece (the whole damn thing!), narrowly missing him on the way down. Add that to shots of me looking like a careless ass. *grin*

I won't bore you with a full account of the demo, but they seemed to love the footage they got from a couple of incidents. First, during one of the demo takes, I gouged a chunk out of my arm when I brushed past a wayward tendril of metal corner bead. And that motherfucker bled like a stuck pig. The bottom of my forearm was completely drenched in blood. But that shit is apparently television gold, given Casey's delighted declaration, "We LOVE it when homeowners bleed!"

The second great shot occurred when Matt and I were tearing out the closet. He had cut the studs around the perimeter to about eye level. We tore out everything below the cut, and when we went to tear out the top part, it absolutely wouldn't budge. Matt announced he was going to have to get the pry bar, but I told him to step back and kicked that fucking wall down from the ceiling with my foot practically over my head. If that doesn't make it into the show, I'll be shocked.

If there was one thing that completely blew, aside from losing a chunk of arm, it was that they have to turn my AC off during shooting so the whoosh of air wouldn't get picked up by our mics. Usually the bathroom is 65 degrees if the rest of the house is 72. Even turning it back on between takes, it wasn't enough to keep up with the humidity and hot lights, and it quickly rose into the mid-80s, possibly close to 90 degrees in there. Throw in a couple of juicy, cheek-flapping farts by a crew member who shall not be named (despite the pride he took in them), and you've got an ass sauna. Since I sweat if I so much as try to suck on an ice cube, I was absolutely soaked by the middle of the afternoon.

All in all, it was a hell of a fun day mixed with some honest-to-god hard work. Matt, Casey, the crew, and the contractors are all unbelievably laid back (but haul ass when it's time to get things done), easy to get along with, and hilarious to boot. Now I'm even more excited for day 2 than I was for today!