CHICAGO - A main who claims that undercooked salmon gave him a 9-foot tapeworm is suing the restaurant that served it to him. Anthony Franz says he fell ill after eating at Shaw's Crab House in 2006. He later uncoiled the disappointed parasite in a fit of agonized, ocular capillary-busting labor.
Franz is seeking $100,000 in his lawsuit, which includes having to replace all of his trousers and dress shirts after losing 15 pounds. However, this is the precise reason Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises, owner of Shaw's in addition to Big Bowl, Unflavored Rice Emporium, and Pier One Wicker Won Tons, is seeking to have the lawsuit dismissed. Lettuce Entertain You's lawyer said, "Check this dude out, man! He's looking lean and tender. Plus he shat a NINE FOOT TAPEWORM! I wonder what that felt like. Probably like shitting pretty lace ribbon. I've always wanted to try that, shitting a ribbon. I'll bet that feels pretty good. Not like the time I shit a dry kickball. Try as I might, I just couldn't get that thing to deflate."
2 comments (leave yours):
The 9 foot noodle in his salmon should've clued him in.
Update: Shaw's Crab House is counter suing for weight loss services rendered not including the price of food
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