Dear Jeremy,

I have a hairy asshole. As a woman, is this wrong? Do men prefer a hairless, baby soft asshole on a gal, or do they not care? I'm also curious about what lesbians think about hairy butt holes. Do they mind if their partner looks like a Yeti in the pooper?

Sincerely,

Curious, and Hairy in South Minneapolis

Dear Assquatch, how hairy are we talking here? Peach fuzz? Secret garden? Radiated tarantula? Personally I prefer a hairless ass. A large percentage of Americans have hangups about hair. Here we like smooth lines, lickable armpits, and bald landing strips. In Europe, you're not as likely to encounter hangups about your rectal spider monkey, but as American tastes drift eastward, you might encounter more beret-wearing Nair lovers clucking their tongues nowhere near your hirsute butthole. In other words, you better get over to France to get your pooper pounded by an unshowered Frenchman before he discovers Old Spice shower gel and beav shaving porn on ScrewTube.

As for lesbians, they like and dislike the hairy tickle hole at similar ratios to everyone else. If I were a woman, lesbian or not, I'd keep my shitter waxed like a surfboard.

But you're looking to strip some hair out of your bread pan, ask for Jen at the Beauty Room in Minneapolis. She is an expert waxer. If you pay her extra, she'll use the ass hair she strips off to build you a handlebar mustache for your vag.