One time Lesley came over to my crib and did a Reiki healing session on me. She told me ahead of time that it would be totally non-sexual and clothed, but when it actually was non-sexual and clothed, I was all like "What the fuck's this shit? Somebody get their shirt off!" But it's cool. So I learned all about Reiki because I totally absorb shit and stuff. It's called listening. She already taughted my ass some shit about my chakra. What happens with Reiki is that you get the rubdown whut drags yer powers to your fingers. Then you can be all like "pyoo pyoo pyoo!" and zap some fuckers in line ahead of you at the supermarket. How ya like my Reikified ass now? I don't know what Lesley did wrong. All I got was relaxed so I farted. Maybe she dragged my powers to my ass. That would explain a lot.