SOUTH PASADENA, California -- What the cock sucking whore? This community on the edge of Los Angeles has become a motherfucking cuss-free zone. Holy shit!

So if you're headed to South Pasadena this week, bitch, be sure to turn down the god damn volume on that fucking Snoop Dogg CD, and, if the little old cunt from Pasadena cuts off your shit in traffic, don't even think about flipping her the bird, 'cuz some serious shit be goin' down.

Not that police will slap cuffs on your wrists and haul your sorry jizz-filled ass off to jail in light of the weak-ass proclamation passed Wednesday by the City Council. But you could be shamed into better behavior by the unsettling glares of residents who take their reputation for civility seriously.

"That's one of the purposes of this," Mayor Michael "Fucklover's Pizza" Cacciotti said of his city's shit-streaked proclamation designating the first week of March as No God Damn Cussing Week. "It provides us a reminder to be more civil, to elevate the level of discourse... tampon jizz stick."

The proclamation will be in effect until Friday, and then the first week of every March here-fucking-after.

This push to stop public cussing is that it was proposed by a 14-year-old boy who doesn't have bitch tits.

"My mom and dad always taught me good morals, good values, and not cussing was one of them," said McKay "Shitty Shitty Gang Bang" Hatch, the shit salad lovin' founder of South Pasadena High School's No Cussing Club, during a recent break between study hall and ballin'.

"I've cussed before, I'm not gonna lie to you," Hatch quickly added. "But I try not to cuss any more... left handed titty fuck god damn trout pussy!"

He was in junior high school when he became fed up with all the totaly fucking assed up language around him.

He understood why his friends use foul language like fuck, shit, jizz, tit stain, snatch puddle, and ass butter: "They just want to fit in like everybody else and they don't know how. They figure if they cuss maybe it's an easy way to do that. Fuckity fuck fuck shit fuck."

For his part, Hatch hopes his No Cussing Club will lead to cuss-free zones in other cities. He believes it could be a quality-of-life issue, and that there may be less violence if people behave better.

"You have to start with the little things. Um... fuck," he said. Fuckin' A, man.

The format and wording of this article is based directly on the original AP story posted at CNN.com. With apologies to young McKay Hatch, who didn't really cuss. I said god damn!