Wednesday, January 02, 2008
NYE 2008
Hedy invited us to a New Years Eve bash at her friend Sarah's place in Minneapolis. Given her building's proximity to the douchey club scene, I had visions of swerving to avoid head-on collisions with drunk drivers and installing a cow catcher on the front bumper of the car to scoop up and cast aside stumbling drunks congregating in the streets. But we arrived a little after 8, found a free parking spot on the street about a block away. We also left the party a little before the bars closed at 2 am and completely avoided the crush of taxis and high-heeled, short-skirted girls leaving steaming sprays of chunkless vomit in the frigid snow.
They handed out party hats, but mine was a little small.
I felt even worse when I realized I could fit my entire penis in it.
Ang and Loops were all like "Fuck you, tiny hat that Jeremy's penis can fit into!" They showed that hat what for.
Ang taught me something that night. Apparently her eyes are "up here," wherever the hell that is. I told her that I didn't care because her rack is "down there."
Alie stands guard while the wine bottle borrows my penis hat.
About an hour before midnight, I felt like such an idiot. Those tiny hats aren't for the penis, they're nipple hats!
Don't cross the streams. It would be bad.
The Good Scientist and Ang smoked a thinny.
Ang, no! If it isn't my cock, you shouldn't be suckling at it so provocatively.
I caught Hedy off guard and unposed. Did you know that this is how she normally looks?
As the clock quickly ticked toward midnight, Hedy frantically filled our champagne glasses.
Everyone who's anyone was at this party. I was there. Ang was there. Hedy was there. Even Kevin from Minneapolis showed up! We were quite thrilled that he finally showed up to an event. Amber is now double pissed that she didn't come.
Lesley, Ang, Kevin, and Ice Cube are happy that it's finally 2008. I'll bet Kevin from Minneapolis and Ice Cube have never showed up to YOUR party on the same night, you fucking losers!
The evening ended with a safe, sober ride home for a very drunken Ang, as well as two more of Hedy's friends. Just call me Mr. Responsible (though I drank during the last half of the drive so I would be drunk by the time I parked the car). And there you have it. Happy 2k8, fuzzy dick. I'll be back to lint roll your scrotum in 2009.
They handed out party hats, but mine was a little small.
I felt even worse when I realized I could fit my entire penis in it.
Ang and Loops were all like "Fuck you, tiny hat that Jeremy's penis can fit into!" They showed that hat what for.
Ang taught me something that night. Apparently her eyes are "up here," wherever the hell that is. I told her that I didn't care because her rack is "down there."
Alie stands guard while the wine bottle borrows my penis hat.
About an hour before midnight, I felt like such an idiot. Those tiny hats aren't for the penis, they're nipple hats!
Don't cross the streams. It would be bad.
The Good Scientist and Ang smoked a thinny.
Ang, no! If it isn't my cock, you shouldn't be suckling at it so provocatively.
I caught Hedy off guard and unposed. Did you know that this is how she normally looks?
As the clock quickly ticked toward midnight, Hedy frantically filled our champagne glasses.
Everyone who's anyone was at this party. I was there. Ang was there. Hedy was there. Even Kevin from Minneapolis showed up! We were quite thrilled that he finally showed up to an event. Amber is now double pissed that she didn't come.
Lesley, Ang, Kevin, and Ice Cube are happy that it's finally 2008. I'll bet Kevin from Minneapolis and Ice Cube have never showed up to YOUR party on the same night, you fucking losers!
The evening ended with a safe, sober ride home for a very drunken Ang, as well as two more of Hedy's friends. Just call me Mr. Responsible (though I drank during the last half of the drive so I would be drunk by the time I parked the car). And there you have it. Happy 2k8, fuzzy dick. I'll be back to lint roll your scrotum in 2009.
I was totally cornered for about 40 minutes by that asian girl (Hedy's unposed pic) and frantically trying to get away.
Oh yeah, and I was also extremely hammered. Holla!
Is that Kwatt?!?
Holy shit! The infamous Kwatt in a live public appearance!
There is some dispute as to who that actually is. I wouldn't go jumping to conclusions.
http://snipurl.com/1wg4e
Jeremy,
First...the green sweater...dashing...dashing I tell you...3 or 4 months early and a true Boston favorite.
Second, the second to last picture, awesome...made me hard...this is beyond the BB (Breast Brush) this is a BS-Breast Smush...love it.
Amber disappoints again as usual. However she looks very, very sad in her utube vid today.
She needs a unicorn...horn...for her trapper keeper. Lets wish that Bitch the best in finding one this year.
The King
You could work at Nipple Hut.
I've been informed of even more weirdness in the pictures from Monday night.
http://snipurl.com/1wirn
Clearly, something potentially supernatural is going on here.
Alie, be nice. She might read my blog. In fact, I know she reads my blog. She just has to. Oh, I hope she reads my blog. Somebody? Read my blog? And this poem.
Max and Teucer, it shee-orr as shit is. He actually committed to coming from the start, but we had gentlecock bets over whether he'd show up.
Kevin, Kermit kept trying to land on my lily pad, but I wasn't having it. I think he somehow impaled himself on the Foshay Tower while it was dancing to an Ice Cube song.
SK, Amber apparently had an old friend come into town unexpectedly, but C'MON! Kwatt! And smushed boobs and green sweaters. I rest my fuckin' case.
Muscleyarm, I love the stuffed crust nipples at Nipple Hut. And sometimes they serve up the nipples New York style.
I know people who won't eat the nipples, and still others who will only eat them if they're dipped in ranch sauce.
I vaguely recall you videotaping Ang and me, but I have no idea what we were doing (although I'm pretty sure it was scandalous). I hope for her sake and mine that you deleted it.
Hedy, you recall correctly. I didn't delete it, but since both you and Ang vehemently begged me after you looked at it that night, you have my word I won't post it. Which sucks because it's the most hilarious fucking video I've ever shot. I won't spoil it for everyone else, but it involves drunk talk and hygiene product.
Oh yeah, I remember that. Definitely should not post it.