Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I will leave my soul in Las Vegas
In a little over an hour we will be on our flight for Vegas. The first thing I plan on doing when we get there is hire a hooker to read me passages from the Bible. Then I'll have her smack my dick with it.
Remember, what happens in Vegas need not necessarily stay in Vegas.
Brutal. The worst I've done with a bible, I think, was when I was staying in the Ambassador Hotel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. It was this Jeffrey Dahmer apparently killed many of his victims and is apparently haunted. The place is a bit strange.
Anyway, my friend Alexis and I noticed that my room had an abnormal amount of ladybugs in it. I took the Gideon Bible and started to smash the ladybugs around the room. In fear of something catastrophic happening we promptly left and got drunk.
No hookers or penises were involved.
I love Las Vegas.
One of the times we went, there was a guy who felt so bad about the stuff he did he searched through the phone book for a church to go to on Sunday.
He went twice.
It's no fun if you don't have to beg forgiveness. :)
(If you do footballs of alcohol of Freemont Street, may I recommend Orange Stoli and Sprite?...)
This was Deep Thoughts... By Jack Ha... Jeremy Q. Afterglide.
The question is this: classy hooker or toothless daytime hooker?
....or creepy mustached hooker...?
King Shocka KHan
Teucer, sometimes I wish it did stay there. So much chlamydia.
Aaron, the best way to avoid God's wrath is to drink. He can't see you when you're drunk. At least that's what the priest told me before he made me drink a whole bottle of communion wine when I was 7.
Dan, bah! I don't need to beg forgiveness. I'm too far gone anyway.
Ronny, I thought my nickname was Jack Handjob.
Sornie, classy toothless hooker. With one leg. A real classy leg!
SK, if she has a mustache, I'll bet she has crabs in it.