Thursday, September 20, 2007
Pink taco vs blue hot dog
You may have already noticed the mysterious appearance of pink tacos and blue hot dogs on the posts. If you haven't already figured it out, pink tacos represent the feminine, spicy meat-filled side of Ang, while the blue hot dog represents the nitrate-filled, elongated virility of me. It's a quick and easy way for you quickly determine who wrote what without scrolling down to the bottom of the post and actually reading. Because we wouldn't want you to furrow your brow so hard you squeeze out a hemorrhoid.
Now I can finally admit that I read this site in an entirely sadomasochistic manner.
I have to admit that I have no idea what that means.
I'm not liking this...you will be changed...the writings will become sensitive and mushy...ass peanut man will disappear as stories of you shopping for feminine hygiene products slowly emerge....not liking the future direction here...not at all...
King Shocka Khan
i wanted to let you know that lastnight before going to bed i was channel surfing and saw that "Dirtiest Jobs" show on the Discovery Channel. in this episode the guy was at a zoo in new jersey and had to clean out poop from the tanks that hold two gigantic hippo's...and let me tell you it was A LOT of poop.
Shocka - I doubt it. Perhaps you didn't read Ang's toilet floor analysis, complete with photograph?
If you ask me, that's setting the bar even higher.
Shocka, do not fear. I am neither sensitive nor mushy and I certainly will not be forcing anyone else to purchase my feminine hygiene products. But I might make him use them from time to time.
Dear Restroom Abby,
I have a question that only you can answer for me.
There's three stalls in the bathroom. The one on the far end is a handicapped stall, so it is a little larger, but other than that, all the stalls are similar.
No plugs, no peanuts, no leftovers. Just basic, clean, restroom stalls.
Is it bad form to sit your sorry ass in the middle stall, forcing hapless newcomers to sit and listen to the Eagan Philcolonic Orchestra, or is it common courtesy to leave an empty stall in the middle (to be used only by an as yet, unknown third party)?
Please let me know so that I may understand this portion of restroom etiquette.
Yours Truly,
Who Does #2 Work For
Who Does #2 Work For,
The correct answer is to use the handicapped stall.
Aaron, I understand completely. Ang, he means he reads it for the pain. That's why most people read it. Hurts so good. Ungh.
Shocka, your assessment is incorrect. Ang is full of poop talk. And if there are any feminine hygiene product stories, they will be about finding bloody tampons perched in a heap of human feces in a portable toilet. Wait, I already did that one.
Carl, the best episode of Dirty Jobs ever was where they sent Mike to an island where motorized vehicle traffic was all but completely prohibited. The small island had hundreds of horses, meaning ton upon ton of horse shit had to be cleaned up. When Mike arrived at where they compost the shit along with food garbage, he came upon a mountainous pile of horse shit heated up by decomposition so much that steam was billowing off of it on a warm, sunny day. It was fantastic.
Teucer, you see why I dig this girl now, don't you.
Dan, let me elaborate on Ang's answer. You always use the disabled shitter because there's more room. Even if some douchebag suctions his hairy ass to the middle stall, you're still a good 5 feet away from him.