Sunday, September 16, 2007
Ain't no party like an Eagan party (unless there's a better party somewhere else)
I have no idea if anyone actually watched the live video feeds from the party last night, but I would like for you to please be enjoying the photographic evidence from the gathering. Perhaps it was the cool air (it only dropped to 55 degrees), or perhaps I have grown more lame in the four months since my last party, but things broke up surprisingly early. People started filtering out around 10:30, and most were gone by 11:30. Jen and Rich stuck around for some conversation and the burning of random shit in the fire (it was my big "fuck you" to recycling cardboard boxes). Then Loren and his newly minted bride made a surprise stop directly upon returning from their honeymoon trip before even stopping at home. Now that's party dedication.
Also in attendance, but not pictured, my brother Troy and his wife Danielle, Elizabeth, Ang's friend Justin and his fiancee Kandi, Kristen (who regularly comments here), Chelsea's husband Matt, and Ronny Gunz and his wife Gina.
Amber and Katy get the party started right by showing off their boobyliciousness.
Oh yeah, girls? Check on my mantastic rack! Pretty nice, huh? Hello? Anyone?
Ang from above. This is often the angle from which I see her when I'm trying to fart on her face.
And here's what she sees when it's about to happen.
Erica and Missy pose all pretty-like for the camera.
Ok, ladies, let's take one more shot just to make sure we get a good photo. One, two, th--HEY! Erica!
Chelsea, Karah, and Amber bust out dancin'.
Jen and Rich. Rich swears that's a rugby shirt, but sewing a couple patches on Captain Picard's tunic doesn't fool me one damn bit, Rich. Engage!
The yard was lit up with multiple forms of fire.
Ang being Ang -- adorable.
We now interrupt this blog post to take a look at some totally awesome beards.
Yeah, that's right. My beard loves you, too.
Taylor's beard has a little more time on mine. Look at him. All smug about his kick ass beard. You win the battle, but the war isn't over yet.
Hedy and Captain Picard #5 admire Andy's rockin' beard.
I tried to talk Taylor and Andy into a beard rubbing trio, but they punched me in the face and left. What, guys? What!
This is the part where everyone took naps.
Someone (it wasn't me, I swearz!) made a hot dog penis with olive testicles and a hamburger vagina with an olive clit. Awesome.
The 'dog wang wants all up in that burger 'gina.
This dude's hot dog wang is pierced. Kinky!
I review the meaty genitalia pics on my camera. HYUCK!
Jen laughs as Rich demonstrates how to fondle the balls of old men. I disagree, Rich. You need to go much lower.
Ok, I don't think anyone's looking, so I'm going to go ahead and just fart quietly to myself. Yeah, this is totally under the radar. Ahhhhhh -- hey, what was that flash?
Lesley, Erica, and Missy like beer.
Jen, Teucer, and Ed discuss how blue my toilet water is.
With huge chunks of ash floating in the air from burning a palette and a chainsaw box, we peer through the haze for a photo.
I like to burn shit.
No, Ang. They are not "devil horns," they are metal fingers. METAL FINGERS. I will not have the devil on my hand, thank you.
Kelly, Grant, and Nichole pray for the party to end, and their wish is granted.
Also in attendance, but not pictured, my brother Troy and his wife Danielle, Elizabeth, Ang's friend Justin and his fiancee Kandi, Kristen (who regularly comments here), Chelsea's husband Matt, and Ronny Gunz and his wife Gina.
Amber and Katy get the party started right by showing off their boobyliciousness.
Oh yeah, girls? Check on my mantastic rack! Pretty nice, huh? Hello? Anyone?
Ang from above. This is often the angle from which I see her when I'm trying to fart on her face.
And here's what she sees when it's about to happen.
Erica and Missy pose all pretty-like for the camera.
Ok, ladies, let's take one more shot just to make sure we get a good photo. One, two, th--HEY! Erica!
Chelsea, Karah, and Amber bust out dancin'.
Jen and Rich. Rich swears that's a rugby shirt, but sewing a couple patches on Captain Picard's tunic doesn't fool me one damn bit, Rich. Engage!
The yard was lit up with multiple forms of fire.
Ang being Ang -- adorable.
We now interrupt this blog post to take a look at some totally awesome beards.
Yeah, that's right. My beard loves you, too.
Taylor's beard has a little more time on mine. Look at him. All smug about his kick ass beard. You win the battle, but the war isn't over yet.
Hedy and Captain Picard #5 admire Andy's rockin' beard.
I tried to talk Taylor and Andy into a beard rubbing trio, but they punched me in the face and left. What, guys? What!
This is the part where everyone took naps.
Someone (it wasn't me, I swearz!) made a hot dog penis with olive testicles and a hamburger vagina with an olive clit. Awesome.
The 'dog wang wants all up in that burger 'gina.
This dude's hot dog wang is pierced. Kinky!
I review the meaty genitalia pics on my camera. HYUCK!
Jen laughs as Rich demonstrates how to fondle the balls of old men. I disagree, Rich. You need to go much lower.
Ok, I don't think anyone's looking, so I'm going to go ahead and just fart quietly to myself. Yeah, this is totally under the radar. Ahhhhhh -- hey, what was that flash?
Lesley, Erica, and Missy like beer.
Jen, Teucer, and Ed discuss how blue my toilet water is.
With huge chunks of ash floating in the air from burning a palette and a chainsaw box, we peer through the haze for a photo.
I like to burn shit.
No, Ang. They are not "devil horns," they are metal fingers. METAL FINGERS. I will not have the devil on my hand, thank you.
Kelly, Grant, and Nichole pray for the party to end, and their wish is granted.
I believe that Matt, Chelsea, and Karah were responsible for the "wienie" and hot dog vag/olive clit.
They are artists.
Hedy pierced it.
I mean....I have no idea who's to blame for that...
Now that I am revealed, I can say it is true - I made the hot dog penis with olive balls, though Matt is the one responsible for the beefy vagina with olive clit.
Hedy did improve upon my work. I wish I had thought to pierce it. Well done, Hedy.
Amber, I thought I remembered a hazy conversation where they mentioned doing it, but I didn't trust my drunken memories.
Lesley, I always knew Hedy liked kinky piercings, but couldn't prove it 'til now.
Karah, thank you for providing the beef-based genitalia. That burger is quite the set of beef curtains.
BEEF CURTAINS! RWAHAHAHAAAHAHA!
If only I wasn't in Des Moines. Damn some those photos are HOT.
See you next weekend?
It's been too long since I've experienced blue toilet water.
Some of those photos are hot. It's too bad we didn't get actual beef curtains documented. But I'm shy.
Aaron, we're totally there next weekend. We're bringing the burger vagina, too.
I'll bring wienies, Aaron. However, sometimes they prefer to go by "Jay" or "Dave".
For the first time in 20-some years of rockin' it -- and aside from the bomb scare in 1994 in St. Peter -- the party I was rockin' on the bass geetar last night was busted by the po-leece. At 10:30 I suddenly realized that a party was going down in Eagan. But as I see here, it was coming to a close. Just think it would have been me, Jeremy, and Amber closing it out again around a campfire. Damn.
Awesome party Jeremy. Sorry we had to take off early. I really wanted to stay! Damn friends and their damn birthdays!!
We have beef curtains at home all the time, so I don't feel like I missed anything.
Thanks for having us, Jeremy! Eagan wasn't so bad, and we didn't even get lost.
I think I accidentally left in the middle of a conversation with Oliver. Sorry 'bout that.
Captain Picard. Bwaha!
Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Jeremy.
"I think I accidentally left in the middle of a conversation with Oliver. Sorry 'bout that."
I get that a lot. Maybe my anecdotes about the the use of Chinese-style glazes on toby jugs of the early 19th Century are a little too hot for some people to handle?
hat party looks bitchin. i swear to god i think i know captain picard. he looks really familiar...
Sooo my niece said the funniest thing today and since its *technically* not overheard cause she said it to me, I'm not gonna submit it, but I will allow you and all your readers the pleasure...
My 8 year old niece has me put on her new mood ring. It turns green-blue, she checks the chart and reads, "you are emotionally charged and somewhat relaxed."
She looks me straight in the face and says with complete seriousness, "That's because you have a job."
So not only did I MC a charity function, and go to my bosses going away party, I also found time to check out your video streams. I tried to enter the chatroom, and I kept typing 32/m/mn but no one responded. Oh yeah, and Alyssa was in labor, while we were watching the video stream. Quite the story we'll have to tell to Sam.
Aaron, as Ang said, your party is definitely on the social calendar.
Ed, you haven't truly experienced blue toilet water until you've been neck deep in it inside of a portable toilet rolling down a hill.
Andrew, we missed you, man. You would have been welcome to stop by even in the dwindling hours.
Jenn, next time I will ask your friends to not celebrate their birthday in a manner that overlaps my event in such a thoughtless manner.
Erica, thanks for coming to my humble home. Next time we'll have frankfurter mini blinds. Try to at least pretend you're excited.
Teucer, you can talk about jugs at my house any old time.
Cooties, that's just a sign that you need to stop being a sucker and working for a living. I actually embezzle funds from churches I "volunteer" for and buy expensive cheese and bidets (the latter being required for sufficient cleanup after eating the former).
Jason, you can tell Alyssa that I've never had a pregnant woman watch me party before. I'm feeling all flush. I knew ahead of time the due date was the 15th, and while I would have admired your party dedication, I would have been really pissed if I had to boil my good towels and get out the salad tongs. *grin* But seriously, congratulations again on the second addition to the DeRusha family.