Abe loves beaverThe sleep beaver and Abe Lincoln still miss me. Since starting my daily regimen of Celexa, I have been getting to bed relatively early and have been able to consistently fall asleep within about 10 minutes of head-to-pillow contact. Unfortunately, I seem to wake up about 4 or 5 hours after going to bed and often have difficulty falling back to sleep. I've pushed back my pill time from morning to early evening, but to no avail. Apparently I'm playing a game of Whac-a-mole with my insomnia. Bonk it over the head at one hole, and it pops out another.
Another side effect of the medication is that my brain feels like it's on underdrive. I'm not thinking on my feet as quickly as I once did. Often when I'm writing or in a conversation, I'm visualizing several scenarios at at once, sometimes even weighing options for the ending of the very sentence I'm in the middle of speaking. Now I think one thought at a time. I guess this should come as no surprise since this medication was prescribed to keep my mind from racing out of control as I try to fall asleep at night. But taking away my brain's parallel processing capacity is driving me up a tall tree.
Regardless of any pharmacological solution or lack thereof, it is clear that I need to do as much as possible to improve my sleep habits and my sleep environment. With that in mind, tonight I bought a new Sealy Posturepedic mattress and box spring for my master bedroom. It will be delivered tomorrow. For the past 9 years, I've been sleeping on a shitty, back breaking queen size mattress I bought right after college. Well, obviously not all of those 9 years. Most of the last couple of years, I've slept on my couch, and in the 2 or 3 years prior to that, I often slept on the double size Sealy Posturepedic in my guest bedroom. Well, no more! I am taking back my own bedroom and plan on wrestling the sleep beaver into submission while the astronaut and Honest Abe suck each other off in the hot tub. All I ask is that they rinse out the tub with some 409 when they're done.
4 comments (leave yours):
Thanks for the visual. I'm glad I was able to get down SOME of my breakfast before I read that.
If I were you I'd ditch the meds and just drink a bottle of wine before bed. They're both wreaking havoc on your liver, so you may as well consume the one that is more fun for you and those around you.
Drink the wine, man.
As a person who's dealt with insomnia nearly all my life, I can tell you I feel your pain! I've tried everything from cold medications to prescription sleeping pills (you may remember my amnesia story while on Ambien)and the only thing that FINALLY cured me was fatherhood. Maybe you need to settle down and start makin babies.
The only time you should fear the beaver is at a whorehouse in TJ.
Jenni, drinking before bed was led me to see the doctor to begin with. That's a bad path.
Fireman, no babies for Jeremy, thank you. I can find other ways to wear myself out, like chronic wanking.
Alie, actually I fear the donkey there.
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