I may not be a world traveler, but at least I'll soon have the option. I took Friday off to catch up on some personal tasks like cleaning the house, yard work, and applying for my passport. For the most part, the passport application process is relatively painless. You can fill out the form online, but you have to print it and go to a government center or post office to present the paperwork in person along with your photo id and certified copy of your birth certificate. That part I completely understand. This is a personal identification document, and they need to verify who you are. But fuckers, why do you make us pay with a check? What is this 1982? Why can't I prepay online with a credit card then just submit my paperwork and photo in person afterward?
I didn't know that you had to pay with a check, but my past experiences with government paperwork left me suspicious that it would be the case. Despite that, I forgot my checkbook at home. When it came time to pay for everything at the courthouse, the lady asked me to write a check. Um... I don't have a checkbook with me. Can I pay with a credit card? No, check or money order only. I had to dash to the CVS across the street, pay an out of network ATM fee to get cash since you apparently can't charge a money order to a credit card, and rush back to pay the exasperated clerk and continue to try not to stare at her tan, impressive cleavage displayed prominently in her highly un-governmently summer dress. I'd put her at about 10 years my senior, but I'd have still motorboated that shit outboard style.
In the meantime, the government has relaxed the passport requirements for returning from Canada. Due to the passport backlog, for the next few months, so long as you have proof that you've applied for a passport (and I assume photo ID and a birth certificate), they will let you back into the country. Regardless, I paid to expedite my passport application. I figured it was best to have it sooner rather than later. That way, if I randomly decide to fly to Tokyo this summer, I have the option. I hear they talk funny foreign talk there.
9 comments (leave yours):
This is kind of puzzling to me, because don't you need a passport to get into Canadia? So, how are you supposed to get back into the U.S. if you can't actually get in? Am I missing something?
Yo, thanks for emailing that picture, where you could see down Alie's shirt. You da man!
"Motorboated that shit, outboard style". Yes. That's is all I can say. Yes.
This passport shit to go to Canada, Mexico and/or the Carib. is bullshit. I'd love to shove them US rules so far in Ambers Cleavage that no beauracrat would ever find them again!
King Shocka Khan
Alie, you can go to Canada all you want without a passport. It's getting back into the USA where you need it.
Butchie, if I had it, I'd send it. I think that's actually Alie's photo that I stole. But she's used my camera to take pics directly down her shirt. Lots of blurry, blurry cleave shots.
Ronny, word.
Shocka Khan, that would be the first place they'd look. I know it would be the first place I'd look.
Jeremy,
Remember that old movie where they injected a team of scientists and doctors into some persons bloodstream.
Well, if you don't it was fascinating and I can imagine Discovery suiting up an adventure team to traverse the Amber Chasm ins search of the lost Passport Papers. I'd fucking volunteer for this dangerous trek.
King Shocka Khan
I have that same fantasy about exploring Bea Arthur's vagina.
I'm having some frightening Golden Girls flashbacks after reading this.
I have flashbacks to the sandpaper section at the hardware store after saying that.
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