Mexico City, Mexico -- In a Sunday press conference, Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin doomed his band's upcoming album to failure by spouting off about how great it is. Prior to a concert later that day, Martin said the album contains Coldplay's best song yet.

"In order for us to get excited about a new album, we have to have one song that we feel like everybody has to hear... before we die." He later added, "I can't tell you about it, but it's basically genius."

After Chris Martin's comments, the other members of Coldplay were seen slapping their foreheads in the background and making the neck slice motion with their fingers, motioning for him to put a lid on his self-aggrandizing cock-of-the-walkery.

An unidentified bandmate was later heard to say, "What the hell was he thinking? You don't go around telling people that your next album is genius and the best ever! We could have just slid by with another lame ass album that our fans would've lapped up like a dog eating a popped tick. Now we're under the microscope. We're only going to sell 4,000 copies and get dumped by our label. You can't jinx our shit like that. What a jagoff. I mean, yeah it's an ok song, but genius? Oh, God, we're going to be the next Right Said Fred if he keeps this up."

Details on Coldplay's 'genius' song were scant at the time of publishing this article, but insiders say it was written with Kevin Federline and the ghost of Doug Henning's mustache.