For about 6 years years I drove an older rustbucket of a Ford Explorer 4x4. Well, it wasn't that way when I bought it, but for about half that time, every time I slammed the door shut, big chunks of it would fall off. There were several piles of rusty metal and dust in my garage on either side of where I parked it. On rare occasion, I miss it, usually when there is a foot or more of snow on the ground, and the plows are having trouble keeping up. But the thing handled for shit in 2 wheel drive, and you couldn't drive more than 45 in 4 wheel drive. And in reality, 4 wheel drive was 3 wheel drive because one of the hubs wouldn't lock. Then there was the minor issue of extreme difficulty in turning off 4x4. On older 4x4's (and perhaps certain newer models for all I know, though I'd be surprised), when you wanted to go back to 2 wheel drive, in addition to turning it off with a button press or shifter throw, you had to put it in reverse and back up a few dozen feet or so to unlock the hubs. Sometimes my few dozen feet would have to stretch out to a quarter mile or so. Yeah, that's convenient. Wait--I guess I don't miss that piece of shit at all come to think of it.
I know we've had a really mild winter here in Minnesota, particularly around the Twin Cities, but I've had my fill. Perhaps it's being spoiled by the lack of snow and relatively mild weather, but when we had a foot of snow dropped on us over the weekend, I didn't shovel my driveway for shit. Come Monday morning, I opened my garage door, threw my little 2 door RSX into reverse, and gunned it down the driveway as if Nancy Grace were standing at the end of it. Splat! Once I was in the street, I put in in first, steered to the side a little, then blasted my way back up the drive way into the garage, and rocketed my way back to the street again. Up yours, mother nature! I had cleared myself a path both for driving and walking down to get my mail. If anyone wants to visit me and can't park in my driveway or walk up it, they can take a flying assfuck.
Though with another foot supposedly on the way over the next couple of days, I may regret that decision. I have a feeling that tomorrow's workout will consist of shoveling instead of running.
6 comments (leave yours):
You own a house in Minnesota. I can't believe you don't have a snowblower or at least some neighborhood kid on deck. I'll tell you, I'd call the local high school today, get one or two little shits out there and get it cleaned off. Then tell them there's another 20 in it for them on Friday morning if they do it before school. 18 years olds might not do it but 16 year olds that just got their licenses- they will do anything for gas money. I'm all over sticking to my schedule and making the world bend to my will accordingly. I'd run and be done, if I were you. :) Of course if it's a short little driveway then what is your problem Lazy Ass? ;o) Good luck!!
I bought a really low end snowblower when I bought the house, but it crapped out after the winter before last. I tried using it a couple of times, but it appears to be dead. The gas in it might be stale though (kind of like me and my schtick).
Unless time is short, and I have visitors coming, I refuse to pay someone to shovel my driveway. It's good exercise for starters. With several inches of snow, it takes about 45 minutes of furious shoveling. So it's a relatively long driveway.
Doesn't help that I have a cold right now. It's not doing much for my motivation.
Fuck snow in it's stinky butthole...
Speaking of stinky buttholes, are you coming to the Box tonight?
I've got other plans for tonight, but I may swing by next week.
You better not be ditching us just so you can masturbate, dammit...
Psshht. Real spank jockeys can toss off a quick one in the car on their way to any social event. Just don't look in my glove compartment.
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