afterglide
afterglide
Disjointed rantings from the cul-de-sacs of suburban Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Jeremy Gibbens

Introducing Travis "Shank" Eastlin

Travis "Shank" Eastlin is a bounty hunter based out of Lake Fork, Idaho. He traveled the nation in search of bail jumping scum from rapists and murderers to check forgers and public penis wavers. Eastlin first came into the public eye in the late 90's when he himself escaped from the Mexican prison where he was serving time for attempting to apprehend escaped American penis waver Todd "Pubes" McCafferin without proper permission from Mexican authorities. Eastlin managed to make his way back over the border, and American officials refused to extradite him, infuriating the president of Mexico, Jerry Garcia.

Amidst the media frenzy over Eastlin's run for the border, he was offered his own television show on Fox News called "Hannity & Colmes." Fox News later realized it already had a show by that name and that Travis would be a piss poor news commentator given that he never graduated from high school or learned to speak without dribbling chewing tobacco all over his ever-sleeveless shirt. The Discovery Channel then stepped in and offered him a reality program called "Shank the Bounty Hunter" along with a small percentage of the licensing fees. The show lasted 4 episodes in 2004 and ended after producers realized that Shank is more aptly described as a serial killer who kills and dismembers bail jumpers than as an actual bounty hunter.

Travis Eastlin was born May 15th, 1978 in Lake Fork, Idaho. He was married to Jessica Ralls-Hoffert until 2003 when he stabbed her to death for jumping bail on an outstanding penis waving warrant. He currently resides in the Mt. Olive Correctional Complex in Fayette County, West Virginia. He enjoys prison rape (giving and receiving), learning about Jesus, and leather work.

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