I've been fighting a slowly encroaching cold since Friday or Saturday by desperately latching onto whatever products proven medical research or theoretical hippie quackery have hinted might bolster my immune system regardless of how ridiculously overpriced they are. I've jabbed gooey, snotlike Zicam swabs up my nose and into my frontal cortex and have downed multivitamins, wholesome veggie-filled soups, orange juice, bananas, and every variety of Naked smoothie and juice I could find in the cooler in the produce section at Rainbow and Super Target. Between that and my normal prodigious intake of water, how is it that I can be constipated today? There's a billowing cloud pouring from the crap factory smokestack, but there seems to be a backup somewhere in the production line. Perhaps there's a broken conveyer belt or several Poopa Loopas called in sick today.
And yes, as always, I will get the inevitable advice that I should get myself some Spanker Soup from Azia, but remember that I live in fucking Eagan. I can't just pop into Azia as easily as you martini-swilling urban sophisticates. I'm an ostensibly busy man with shit of marginal value to do. I can't be bothered to take an hour or more out of my day to get some soup. Not that I don't appreciate the advice or concern. Fuckers.
2 comments (leave yours):
I'm starting to get pissed about all the cool clubs and pubs (bars, Amber) in Minneapolis. I'm about to copycat some of that shit around heah.
Hope you're feeling better! Did you make poopy yet?
Thanks! Actually I have made several considerable offerings to the porcelain gods since that post. I'm walking on air!
Minneapolis-St Paul is a pretty cool area. People want interesting places to go during the cold winter months I think. Whether new or hallowed institutions, trendy and/or cool and interesting bars and restaurants are actually impossible to avoid...unless you never leave the Wal-mart and Applebee's world of the suburbs.
Post a Comment