Man glitters

The personal webpages and MySpace profiles of millions of teens, 20-somethings, and even 30-plus-somethings are littered with animated graphics called glitters. Usually you'll see glitters along the lines of...

or...

Often these are left as comments by tittering girls and women on the profiles of their fellow tittering girlfriends as an expression of their appreciation of their friendship and female bond. Either that or they are left as comments on the profiles of guys they think are studly samples of man muffinness. In the worst of cases, they are posted by girls on their own profiles as vain assertions of their own hotness.

These are fine for the ladies, but what about glitters for men to express themselves? I made a few of my own using a handful of do-it-yourself glitter websites.

This one is simple and to the point. It simply says, "I like football" with a hint of "You can go fuck yourself."

This is equally simple. A chap might post this on his webpage to say, "Gosh, I enjoy titty fucking!" He can also post it on the profile of a well-endowed woman to hint that he would like to jug fuck her and fire one off into her eye. Alternately, this could be posted as a comment on the profile of a guy friend. It's a manly cyberspace elbow in the ribs that says, "Heh heh...fucking boobs is pretty awesome, isn't it, dude?" In person, this would be followed by a high five, perverted laughter, and a series of prolonged, high-pitched farts.

Again, straight and to the point. Blowjobs do indeed rule, friends, and that's all that needs to be said. Unless you posted in as a comment for a woman. It subtlely hints, "I would like you to chow down on my junk." ...and that he would like to fire one off into her eye. This one, however, may not be posted on the profile of a male chum as it could be mistaken by him or others as a request for very hairy sausage to mouth action.

This one just says it all. Emotions are for the weak. It might be posted on a man's own website to tell people, "I'm a real man. I don't feel stuff or think about stuff." Combined with the football glitter, it makes a statement that you are a true man's man. And it is truely multipurpose. Post it on a woman's profile to say, "I go to the bar when you start to talk about your feelings because I don't want to hear about them" or "I wish you would stop crying every time we have sex." Additionally, it can say to a guy friend, "Isn't it wonderful to be free of the burden of human emotion?" It can also say, "I saw you crying when your dog died. Grow a fucking pair you candy ass tight-wearing fancy lad!"

And finally, this is what men want to tell everyone they meet...