"That is so gay!" Thankfully, this a phrase that has never been a habitual part of my catalog of utterances and exclamations. But it's one that is often the topic of much discourse amongst my friends and underage lovers (and trust me, the two groups are mutally exclusive, despite what Oprah tells you).
Basically the premise behind "...so gay!" is that gay is bad. Tsk! Quite an insensitive thing to say because gay is not bad. Gay is just...well, gay. Homosexuality is not inherently bad, just as it is not inherently good. In fact, I'd go as far as to say everybody's just a little gay. Except people who are not gay ENOUGH. You know who you are. You wander out of the house in your ratty gravy-stained sweatpants, your unwashed, wrinkly "Who Farted?" t-shirt, stinking to high hell of creamed corn and Aqua Velva. You give men everywhere, heterosexual and homosexual alike, a bad name. Gay it up a notch, goddammit! I'm not asking you to give up the 'tang. Just be a smidge more gay. Match your belt to your shoes. Wear a shirt without a beer logo on it. Shave your fucking ears. SOMETHING for the chrissakes! Please. For all of us.
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