One shot, one kill

Occasionally while I'm running on the treadmill watching Headline News, I see a 10 second commercial for a Hemmorhoid cream called (you can't make this up) FREEdHEM. Their commercial consists of a still photo of the box for their product with a voiceover repeating "FREEdHEM, the only one-application hemorrhoidal cream. FREEdHEM, the only one-application hemorrhoidal cream. FREEdHEM, the only one-application hemorrhoidal cream."

This brick-upside-the-head approach is grating, but effective since it drove me to finally learn more about this single-application butt cream. Through the magic of google, I found their website at www.freedhem.com. How appropriate. What really disturbs me, though, is the finger on the left side of the page, ostensibly symbolizing number one, as in one application. But look closely at this finger. Where has it been? And what is that dark smudge at the bottom of the finger. It's a butt finger. A hemorrhoid cream covered, sphincter-probing butt finger. A butt finger circling around for another attempt at a greasy landing on the ass crack runway and pulling up to the rectal terminal.