Remember that show "Dinosaurs" that used to be on ABC back in the early 90's? Best ep: The dinosaur who's last name was Harris who's lewd comments to women earned him the nickname "Sexual" Harris. Eventually he is sued for it, but he denies he meant his comments in a crude way, and the media circus to "...find out what 'Sexual' Harris meant" ensues. The groans are so loud, they turn into laughter.

Cuddles and cartwheels!

-j swig

Holy fucking shit, people! Now get out your decoder rings I mailed out a few weeks ago, and set them to: L14-277-ALPHA-BETA-TOMATO-JACKSON-Z298

Get a load of this now: R14-777-L15-824-M25-816-Z28-262-014.

Don't panic if it comes out looking like gibberish. That's not the message yet. This is your code for the encryption charm bracelet that I sent to you via FedEx last week.

Now, remove the following charms from your bracelet: Boy picking apple, stack of pancakes, a phallus, the flag of the Czech Republic, and monkey dry humping boy picking apple (not to be confused with boy picking apple while dry humping monkey)

Are you ready? JF@*&^afkj2ojkfjallll3hagh 9lhlakjfoak2))kjfla/?kfj29!@8257

This is not a joke people! Put this at the top of your list. If you have difficulty decoding this message, contact me immediately. The future of our democracy is at stake!

Note from Jeremy: Prior to January 2, 2006, this blog was hosted at MySpace

I didn't deny your request to be a jerk. I'm not really on here to "network" or find "just friends" or use other words and phrases "in quotes" so please don't take it personally. With a few exceptions, most of the people in my friends list are people in my social circle that I know and hang out with offline. Otherwise, they were people who wrote to me first (or vice-versa), I thought they were cool, and blam.

However, don't be shy about dropping me a note to say hello. I'm not opposed to meeting new people, just not one to hop on the "add me too!" bandwagon.

Comment from Jenn Friday, November 18, 2005 at 10:25 PM: I guess I'm lucky I'm "already your friend" so I don't have to "beg for your attention";-) Jenn

Comment from Jeremy Friday, November 18, 2005 at 10:36 PM: "Jenn", tell me, does "this" sound like "me" hitting the "delete" button on your listing in my "friend's list"? -click-

As you may or may not have read in an earlier blog, I had quite an experience with Bloomington Acura when I took in my RSX for an oil change in late June. I'll save myself the retread, read the long, sordid story here.

Two issues have popped up since this long ordeal. First, I realized that my rear window washer fluid nozzle no longer works and hasn't worked since they replaced the window. At first I thought I was just out of fluid, but then realized that both the front and rear nozzles use the same reservoir. The second is the one that really was a towel snap in the nuts. I should have checked things out more thoroughly after getting the car back, but last week, I was cleaning out stuff from the back of the car to make room for a few things, when I noticed that there were HUGE pieces of broken glass from the old rear window absolutely everywhere under my cargo net. WHAT...THE...FUCK? You break my window, waste hundreds of dollars worth of my time driving back and forth fixing things you screwed up after replacing the window, and then don't even bother to simply move things out of the way to clean up all the glass? How lazy and inept are you guys???

First thing Monday morning, I am calling them to make an appointment. Unfortunately, it's not on my way to work anymore, so taking it there is going to be a big inconvenience. I'm going to insist they let me drop it off and give me a loaner car. I'm not sitting there waiting for their shuttle until after 8 am to take me up to Golden Valley when I normally get to work by 7:30. They will change my oil (with the free oil change voucher they gave me--yeah, that made up for all of it), they will DETAIL the entire fucking inside of my car, or at the very least, detail the back to get rid of the glass, and they will fix my rear wiper fluid nozzle. Then they will smack me on my bottom and call me Colonel Goodlove.

Well my "special secret" I mentioned a while back was that I was in search of a new job. I didn't want to be to blatant about it and cause a problem for myself at work. My manager would have been good about it, but there were other people there that I wouldn't have trusted quite so much.

So I am now a Senior Software Developer at a small company in Golden Valley. I won't mention their name here. Hee hee...I doubt I'd get in trouble, and am a firm believer in my right to free speech, but they are small enough that I'd hate to have them associated with my sometimes raunchy comments and commentary on here.

Compared to driving from Eagan to Bloomington in 15-25 minutes, depending on the time of day, the new commute is 30-45 minutes. Ouch!! But if I leave by 7, it seems I can get there by 7:30-7:35 am most days. Again, yikes...I'm not a morning person, but saving myself 20-30 minutes of commute time a day is a good incentive to drag my tired ass out of bed. We'll see. If it's looking like it's for the long haul come this spring, and if the commute proves to be a sticking point, I may move to Edina this winter to be closer to work.

Moving from a gigantic corporation with probably 20,000+ employees worldwide and probably 2,000 or more in the Twin Cities to a company with a dozen people is going to be an adjustment. I probably won't be flying out to conferences and classes all over the country every year. Benefits are almost nonexistant since they're so new (they are looking into getting benefits packages in 2006), and myriad small things. But on the other hand, they seem like a fairly close-knit group dedicated to what they're doing. And I feel like what I will be doing will have a HUGE impact. Not a feeling I had at all the last 6 months of my old job. Plus after 6 years with the same company and nowhere to advance to, I needed both a job and a career move. It was just plain time.

Anyway, I'm off. Later poopsmacks.

So when my dear, departed father would have to take a crap, he'd say, "Well, I'm off to see a man about a horse." I still don't get it. Wouldn't it make more sense to say, "Well, I'm off to see a baker about a biscuit." or just say, "I am going to the bathroom to shit in the toilet."???

He used to smoke when he'd crap too. He quit years later (smoking, not crapping), but let me tell you, there's nothing like waking up to take your morning pee, and walk into a cloud of shit and cigarette stench. Invigorating.

See...it's crap like this I'd hate to saddle my new employer with. *grin*

A little less than a year ago, my company sent me to Macromedia MAX, a technology conference held in New Orleans that year. I flew down a couple days early, Halloween weekend, with my then-girlfriend to explore the Big Easy for the first time. We gawked in wonder at the history, the architecture, and of course, the brazen debauchery at every corner of Bourbon Street. We toured St Louis Cemetery No. 1, walked the streets of the French Quarter drinking our hurricanes, and while a week there was far too long, I had little doubt that I'd love to come back for a strictly personal trip someday soon to see more and frankly booze it up but good without worrying about having to be at a conference session at 8 am!

It sickens me to think that much of that history may be lost forever, but it sickens me even more to think of the suffering happening there as we speak. Bodies floating in the very streets I walked down. People dying, being shot at, and young girls being raped in the same convention center halls that I milled about in 10 months ago.

I was going to school at the University of North Dakota in 1997 when the Red River flooded and put half the town of Grand Forks underwater. It was a frightening experience, and it took them years to recover, but no one died. Property and livelihoods were destroyed, but no one had to fear starving to death, dying of dehydration, or being shot or raped by roving bands of armed thugs.

I spoke with my brother on the phone briefly yesterday, and he said, "I'll bet you're glad you went there when you did." Yes, I'm extremely grateful to have experienced the chaos of Bourbon Street on Halloween, to listen to some of the best jazz and blues in the world, and to learn about the history and culture of one of our nation's oldest and most storied cities. I fear none of us will ever have the opportunity to have the full depth of that experience again.

I guess I don't really have much of a point to all of this, other than to vent my sadness, anger, and frustration over what is happening to the people in New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf coast area.